Krunch Time

by Lil' Krunch

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about

Lil' Krunch's debut album released 4/21/15.

World Famous Chip Kruncher, Lil' Krunch decided to do a rap album. This is his story.

credits

released April 21, 2015

Lil' Krunch
lyrics by: Tee K, Crazy KWAL, HotMale0311 & ArchHeretic1
produced by: ArchHeretic1

Thanks to:
Garageband via iOS on iPhone 6
The Bee Gees
Samwell
Bill O'Reilly
Bob Marley
Mt. Zion
The Crash Test Dummies
Judas Priest
Katy Perry
Buster Poindexter
The Vapors
Pearl Jam
Afroman
Pharell Williams
Mystikal
Nelly
The Bloodhound Gang
The Rippin and the Tearin guy
Huey Lewis & The News
Lil Krunch's Uncle
and Lil Krunch's wife

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

Lil' Krunch Woodridge, Illinois

Lil' Krunch

He's a krunchy mofo, that's fo sho

contact / help

Contact Lil' Krunch

Streaming and
Download help

Track Name: Here We Go!
Yoooooooooooooo!!!
Grab you bitches and yo hoes and yo bag of chips
Lil Krunch is in the house
‘bout to light this joint up!
It’s munchin’ time!
Here we goooooooo!!!!!
Track Name: Do It Live!
There's a calendar
And a project manager
Spitting out these dates
PIT sits back and waits
To get the next product build
If I got it on time I’d be thrilled
They don’t think I’m skilled
Think I sit back just chilled
All this time to be killed
The hands on the clock
Keep going tick tock
Thumbs out of my pock't
Suddenly I realize
PIT is being penalized
Our set up time minimized
F*ck it, we’ll do it live

Chorus:
F*uck it, we’ll do it live
F*cukity f*ck it, we’ll do it livity live To play us out I’m gonna shout F*ck it, we’ll do it live

This sh*ts not in the merge
Old icons to purge
No personalization preview
Oh you need samples right now
But you won’t let me tell you how
Many letters to allow
So Hot they’re in an inferno(w)
Agitated like a bee hive
F*ck it, we’ll do it live

Chorus:
F*uck it, we’ll do it live
F*cukity f*ck it, we’ll do it livity live To play us out I’m gonna shout F*ck it, we’ll do it live

Hover over
My shoulder
In the squirrel milk folder
No words on the teleprompter
Buzz like a helicopter
Out to soft press
Pillowcases a mess
Too many components
Not enough moments
Shuffle my feet
Into Kornit
I’m wearing a new shirt
It looks great they all blurt
But the settings aren’t right
Laser rulers at the wrong height
I’ll be here all damn night
Tired of being polite
My temper starts to ignite
Irritating like a bug bite
I have to leave here at 5
F*ck it, we’ll do it live

Chorus:
F*uck it, we’ll do it live
F*cukity f*ck it, we’ll do it livity live To play us out I’m gonna shout F*ck it, we’ll do it live
Track Name: Thumbs Outta My Pocket
Rolling along
Like I just don’t care (a little)
Thumbs feeling itchy
They need some air

What chu looking at?
I’m no fool
Got two thumbs
That’s my rule

Whole hand in
Whole hand out
Thumbs outa my pocket
I don’t care

Thumbs outa my pocket
Don’t just sit there and knock it
Thumbs outa my pocket
Hanging out like they want it

Sample meeting
My shit’s ready to go
Got no worries
Thumbs for show

Stop yo staring.
You’re the fool
I’ve got two thumbs
I’m going to use

Whole hand in
Whole hand out
Thumbs outa my pocket
I don’t care

Thumbs outa my pocket
Don’t you sit there and knock it
Thumbs outa my pocket
Both exposed like I want it

Out to Kornit
Logojet too
No concerns
Thumbs locked and loaded

Stop yo staring
Oh, you want to see them too?
My two thumbs
That’s my groove

Whole hand in
Whole hand out
Thumbs outa my pocket
Fuck you too

Samples needed ASAP
Got my tumbs outta my pocket
I’ll put my pinkies out too

Put your thumbs in da air
And wave em like ya just don’t care
If ya got your thumbs out
Let me hear ya shout

Thumbs outa my pocket
Don’t fucking sit there and knock it
Thumbs outa my pocket
Both fo show like we want it

To my pockets I do the shocker
Cuz I’m the pocket doctor
Don’t look at me like I’m strange
Cuz my thumbs demand free-range

Whether I’m parking in your garage—thumbs out
Or crunching with my entourage—thumbs out
Even when I’m clearing Jeff’s throat—thumbs out
Keeping my budget afloat—thumbs out

Now Lissa, girl
You are my world
But keep your finger
Outta my man pocket

Thumbs outa my pocket
Don’t fucking sit there and knock it
Thumbs outa my pocket
Fuck it out, like I want it!
Track Name: We're Krunchin'
Oh, yeah, well, alright
We're crunchin’
I want to crunch it with you
We're crunchin’, crunchin’
And I hope you like crunchin’ too
Ain't no rules, ain't no vow
We can do it anyhow
I and I will see you through
Cause every day we pay the price
With a little sacrifice
Crunchin’ till the crunch is through

We're crunchin’
To think that crunchin’ was a thing of the past
We're crunchin’
And I hope this crunch is gonna last
No bullet can stop us now
We neither beg nor we won't bow
Neither can be bought nor sold
We all defend the right
Jah Jah children must unite
For life is worth much more than gold

We're crunchin’, crunchin’, crunchin’, crunchin’
And we're crunchin’ in the name of the Lord
We're crunchin’, crunchin’, crunchin’, crunchin’
We're crunchin’ right straight from yard
Singing Holy Mount Zion, Holy Mount Zion
Jah sitteth in Mount Zion and rules all creation
Yeah, we're crunchin’,
Bop-chu-wa-wa-wa

We're crunchin’
I want to crunch it with you
We're crunchin’, crunchin’, crunchin’, crunchin’
And Crunchdown hope you're crunchin’, too
Jah knows how much I 'ave tried
The truth cannot hide
To keep you satisfied
True love that now exists
Is the love I can't resist
So crunch by my side

We're crunchin’, crunchin’, crunchin’, crunchin’
I want to crunch it with you
We're crunchin’, we're crunchin’,
We're crunchin’, we're crunchin’
We're crunchin’, we're crunchin’,
We're crunchin’, we're crunchin’
Hope you like crunchin’, too.

We're crunchin’, we're crunchin’,
We're crunchin’, we're crunchin’,
I want, I want, I want to crunch with you now
We're crunchin’, we're crunchin’,
I hope you like crunchin’,
I hope you like crunchin’,
Cause I want to crunch it with you
I like I hope, I hope you like crunchin’ too
I wanna crunch it, wanna crunch it
Track Name: Grymez
When I walk into the door
And see dirty grimes on my floor
I’m not gonna take it no more
That’s what mops are for
What’d I get married for
Don’t you know this means war
Guess I’ll go to the store
Cleaning isle I’ll explore
Buy a magic eraser and more
Make this my chore
To coffee grimes, I’m a whore
Down on knees cleaning till I’m sore
Just trying to restore
Too grimey to ignore
About grimes I’m hardcore

I just don’t get these coffee grimes
On the floor, it’s a crime
I didn’t put them there
Don’t you even care
They be driving me crazy
Make me get all loud and phrasey
Clean up the grimes, don’t be lazy
Trying to sell the crib
Trying to get a good bid
We won’t get a buyer at all
If the coffee grimes continue to fall

I can’t believe my eyes
Is this a surprise
Coffee grimes are no more
Aw shit, is that wine on the floor?

Yo, I’m outta here.
Lil Crunch
Track Name: That's Alright
That’s alright, that’s alright, that’s alright
I really mean hell no, but I say that’s alright
Because I don’t want to fight
Or seem uptight
Lil Krunch just sayin that’s alright

9am sharp
Get out the car
Roll into the pit,
Almost time to take a shit
Open the email
And without fail
Its full of stupidity
Really getting to me
I got 99 questions I get,
Crazy, but they all from tonya
About samples and shit
Wish I had some ganga
Want to tell them where to go
Just want to scream no
I’m ready for a dog fight
Instead I say “that’s alright”

That’s alright, that’s alright, that’s alright
I really mean hell no, but I say that’s alright
Because I don’t want to fight
Or seem uptight
Lil Krunch just sayin that’s alright

Invited to lunch
Recording my epic Krunch
I should just have southwest veggie fit n active
Keep my figure attractive
Try take me for Indian food
The Krunch is in no mood
For that spicey stew
What I mean say is no way
Instead what do I say
I say That’s alright
Now on lamb I must bite
Afternoon highlight
Really just might
When Jefe and Marky B rough house
Make me take it to the house
Because I said that’s alright
Hope this house is air tight
At least I paid my part of lunch
And I taught Mark to Munch Krunch


That’s alright, that’s alright, that’s alright
I really mean hell no, but I say that’s alright
Because I don’t want to fight
Or seem uptight
Lil Krunch just sayin that’s alright

When my wife asked me
About getting married
And the said we’d breed
A little baby to feed,
It sounded fun
But still I wanted to run
I wanted to say no
That’s not what came out though
My mouth decided to overwrite
Instead I said that’s alright
Now I’m trying to move
Got my rapping to prove
Trying to find the right place
Man I can’t keep up with this pace
So I’m picking my neck
My nerves writing a check
That my body can’t cash
Making me want to smash
Everything in sight
Cept I just say That’s Alright


That’s alright, that’s alright, that’s alright
I really mean hell no, but I say that’s alright
Because I don’t want to fight
Or seem uptight
Lil Krunch just sayin that’s alright

Wait…what? 5:30, I’m moonwalking outta here
Track Name: Krunch Krunch Krunch Krunch
Once there was this Jim guy
Got a job at PC and couldn't draw a snowman
But when he never came back
Staci looked all over for him and just said "Oh Boy"
He said he couldn't do it
and left with his thumbs out of his pocket

Crunch Crunch Crunch Crunch
Crunch Crunch Crunch Crunch

Once there was this girl who
tried to put her finger in Jim's but until he said stop
But when they finally married
Jim just said, That's alright
Jim couldn't quite explain it
Her finger was now always there

Crunch Crunch Crunch Crunch
Crunch Crunch Crunch Crunch

Crunch Crunch Crunch Crunch
Crunch Crunch Crunch Crunch

Now both Melissa and Jim are wed
Having a kid can't be that bad

And then there is this Jim guy
Likes to crunch and munch on chips and moonwalks in the late night
And when he keeps his thumbs out
He sometimes sticks out his pinkies too
We couldn't quite explain it
But his thumbs just are always there

Crunch Crunch Crunch Crunch
Crunch Crunch Crunch Crunch
Track Name: Drop The Charge
Now this is my client
Jeff Crazy K Walski
Does he look like a criminal?
I’d say at minimal

Driving his car
Minding his own
When a mutha fucking pig
Tried to make him his own

Yo, this is my 1990 Toyota
Now get off my case
Mind your owna

Let this m*tha f*cka do what he wants to
This is Jeff Crazy K Walski
He can do what he wants ta

Drop the charge
No longer at large
Out the way
Hear what he has to say

Now I’m her to represent Crazy Kowalski
Crazy K
So get out the way

1990 Toyota, mind-your-owna
Doing his thang
Now a pigs in the way

Drop the charge
No longer at large
Out the way
Hear what he has to say
Track Name: Brook House
Ya'll know what it is
Lil Krunchy
Jeffy K, aha.
Let's krunch

I knew we were
We were gonna buy a place
And here we are
But we better budget carefully
‘Cause I
I’m capable of budgeting
For anything and everything
Save me some dough at Wendy's
Dollar menu so tasty
I won't
Spend all my money,
my money, my money

So you wanna pack, get movin
Over to the town of Willowbrook
Baby needs it so let's do this
So we need to move to the Brook House
Hey
Are you ready for, ready for
Hey
To pack some more, pack some more
Hey hey
Cause once we're gone, once we're gone
Hey hey hey hey
There’s no going back

Mark my words
This condo will make you salivate
Like a cat
A Brett cat licking for the taste
Of my beer
Of my beer that's tastes so great, it tastes so great

It’s in the palm of your paw now Sawyer
It’s a yes or meow, no sharesies?

Just make sure
To Purr a little quietly
Politely , give it back to me!

So you wanna pack, get movin
Over to the town of Willowbrook
Baby needs it so let's do this
So we need to move to the Brook House
Hey
Are you ready for, ready for
Hey
To pack some more, pack some more
Hey hey
Cause once we're gone, once we're gone
Hey hey hey hey
There’s no going back

Uh
He's a beast
I call him Krunchy
He'll Krunch his chips down
And munch them loudly (*crunch*)
Be careful
Try not to piss him off
Krunchy's merges has underscores
Cause his item setup is so strong
You may laugh out loud
When you see him
If you get the chance say Oh Hey Jim
He's funny as hell when he moonwalks
With his thumbs out he's just kiddin
That green shirt he's wearin with that Heineken he's holdin'
He be peekin' over my cube
I'm gonna email him a YouTube (link!)
Sitting in the PIT
Krunchy so rad, typin with his fingers and no shortcuts
He rides his bike into a ditch
Carrying his milk he never dropped the bitch (his milk)
His raps are like a drug
I was tryin to put it under my tongue
He tried to hit it and quit it
But he got her pregnant

So you wanna pack, get movin
Over to the town of Willowbrook
Baby needs it so let's do this
So we need to move to the Brook House
Hey
Are you ready for, ready for
Hey
To pack some more, pack some more
Hey hey
Cause once we're gone, once we're gone
Hey hey hey hey
There’s no going back
Track Name: Hawt Hawt Hawt!
Ole ole - ole ole / Ole ole - ole ole
EE-Yessa Ha-ha
Ee-yes samples

Me sample on fire -- Me T.O.P. on fire -- Feeling howt howt howt
Sample people -- All around me feeling howt howt howt
What to do - On a day like this
Samples sweet - I can't resist
We need a sample song - A fucked up jam

So we go rum-bum-bum-bum
Yeah we rum-bum-bum-bum
Sample howt howt howt -- Sample howt howt howt - oh Lord

(me la la la lum bum bum)
See samples dropping -- Hear Charlie chanting -- Sample howt howt howt
Keep up this testing -- Come on let's do it -- Sample howt howt howt
It's in the air - Sample time
Samples sweet – Sign your sheets
We have this sample song - This T.O.P. jam

So we go rum-bum-bum-bum
Yeah we rum-bum-bum-bum
Sample howt howt howt --Sample howt howt howt - Oh Lord

Ha-ha
Ole ole - ole ole / Ole ole - ole ole
Ole ole - ole ole / Ole ole - ole ole

EE-yes samples
Samples in the PIT - howt howt howt
Samples in the PIT - howt howt howt
They come to the PIT know what they got
They come to the PIT know what they got
Mugs howt -- Shirts howt -- Frames howt -- Prints howt
slates howt – signs howt -- bowls howt – Charlie’s howt
(Real howt) -- (Real howt) -- (Real howt) -- (Real howt)H
a-ha-ha - Oh Lord

How you sampling? (Howt howt howt)
How you sampling? (Howt howt howt)
How you sampling? (Howt howt howt)
How you sampling? (Howt howt howt)

(Howt howt howt)(Howt howt howt)
(Howt howt howt)(Howt howt howt)
Track Name: Krunch Your Kookie
Yo, this one is for my homeys at Taisan Chef!
Yeah, sweet and sour chicken in the house!

Imma KRUNCH your kookie
Krunch your kookie
I’m no rookie
Imma KRUNCH your kookie
Krunch your kookie

Your kookie just got bit
(insert loud crunch here)
Kookie full of wisdom and shit
After my kruchin and bitin’
Imma bout to enlighten

Nothing is a waste of time if you learn from it
Tomorrow is never promised
Those grapes you cannot taste are always sour
Leave early to avoid rush hour
Wait for it. There will be a big change today
A short stranger will soon enter your life with blessings to share
There is true and sincere friendship between you both
You will experience personal growth
There’s no such thing as an ordinary cat
(insert yassss cat here)
A stranger is friend you have not spoken to yet

Imma KRUNCH your kookie
Krunch your kookie
I’m no rookie
Imma KRUNCH your kookie
Krunch your kookie

Your kookie just got bit
(insert loud crunch here)
Kookie full of wisdom and shit
After my kruchin and bitin’
Imma bout to enlighten

Your infinite capacity for patience will be rewarded sooner or later
Mom’s love is best, nothing is greater
Well done is better than well said (in bed)
Lend your money, lose your friend
We can’t help everyone. But everyone can help someone
In case of fire, keep calm, pay bill and run
Value you present moments
Year of the rat, celebrate the rodents
Take the chance while you still have the choice
There are times when silence has the loudest voice (insert loud crunch here, wait what, pause)
Your ability to juggle many tasks will take you far
Let your imagination wand-dar
Sometimes you just need to lay on the floor
The world may be your oyster, but that doesn’t mean you’ll get its pearl


Imma KRUNCH your kookie
Krunch your kookie
I’m no rookie
Imma KRUNCH your kookie
Krunch your kookie

Your kookie just got bit
(insert loud crunch here)
Kookie full of wisdom and shit
After my kruchin and bitin’
Imma bout to enlighten

And if I please
I’ll rap in Chinese
Chun tian
Jiang
Dan
Kou wei
Sheng cai
Ka ji
Tian qi

After salad of cucumbers
Get my lucky numbers
33
37
17
46
3
2


Man who run in front of car get tired
Man who run behind car get exhausted
Man with hand in pocket feel a little cocky
Man with hand deep in pocket feeling ballzy
Man who no use hands to go through turnstile going to Bangkok
Every exit is an entrance to a new experience
In bed
Lissa, keep your fingers out of there


Got my order to gooooo
Take it straight to the house!
You know what I mean.
Track Name: Krunch n Munch
I said crunch.. munch
Show me what you munch crunch

Take to the brunch
Show you how to munch

Dance around the chips
Reach in there like you don’t care..

Crunch, munch,
Show me where you munch crunch

Seat me at the brunch
Teach me how to munch..

Munch what?
Ill crunch ‘n munch anything!
Ill munch yo ass

Attention all yall playas and pimps right now aint the place to be
But If you feel you got the biggest one then momma shake ya ass

Glorified version of a pellet gun
Glorified version of a pellet gun
Glorified version of a pellet gun
Glorified version of a pellet gun

GRIMES!!! Off my flo!!

A yeayyy yeaaeh can you see them on the porch aya but they don’t wave
I see them round the doorway and I know and I know I don’t want to say

Make me cry

((insert afroman Wicked bad guitar solo))

Your real daddy was dying
Sorry you didn’t see him
But im glad we talked
Ooooooooiiiiiiiyyyyy
Ohhhhhhh im still alive
Ayyyaayyyaaaiii’m still alive!

Wow she walked slowly
Across a young man too
She said im ready
For you
IIIIIIIII cant remember anything to this very day!

Then im at home drawing picktures of not snowmen, but mountaintops
King jiminy the wicked

Id appreaciate your input
Now put your hands down my pants
And I bet youll feel nuts

I gets meana, badda n’ stronga and feroshis
You mo fos aint even gonna see the rest
Im commin back mo fearless mo determined the befo tha set!
I aint even started yet!


Nelly is the best rapper alive!!!
Track Name: Clear His Throat
Sitting at my desk
Item set-up a mess
Preview, Redo, Me-do

One at a time
Multi-task a crime
All of a sudden
Rumble sound be rumbling
Take a look around

Jeff’s at his desk
Something in his chest
Gotta clear his throat
Itching at my mind

What can I do?
I’m no plumber
What to stick down there
Help him get some air..

And he says Mhhmmm, Mhhhmmm, Mhhmmmm
Mhmmm, Mhhhmmm, Mhhmmmm

And I go, deeper, deeper, deeper
deeper, deeper, deeper

And he moans Hmmmm, Mhmmmm, Mhhhmmm
Mhmmm, Mhhhmmm, Mhmmmm

Is it better now
I showed you how
Can you breath clearly
Or swallow merely

Back to work now
I showed him how

Item set-up
Here I go
What’s that sound
Jeff’s doing the rounds

And he says Mhhmmm, Mhhhmmm, Mhhmmmm
Mhmmm, Mhhhmmm, Mhhmmmm

And I go, deeper, deeper, deeper
deeper, deeper, deeper

And he moans Hmmmm, Mhmmmm, Mhhhmmm
Mhmmm, Mhhhmmm, Mhmmmm

Think we’re are done now
Jeff should know how
He can breathe clearly
And swallow merely

Back to work now
He knows how

Item set-up
Here we go
What’s that sound?
It’s Jeff doing his rounds

Mhhhmmmmmmm
Track Name: Krunchin' Time
Help me, Uncle
Look what we engravin' this time

Heads on 2015?
Oh jeez what's next 2016?

All I wanted to do
was shit and eat food from Aldi

So take me away
it's alright
You just have to know
it's Krunchin' Time

You know it's Krunchin Time

Don't give me seafood, in a roll of some rice
I'm allergic, pickin my neck, all night
Just give me my krunchers bag
don't wanna get sick again

So take me away
it's alright
You just have to know
it's Krunchin' Time

You know it's Krunchin Time
You know it's Krunchin Time
Lil Krunch be Krunchin now

Uncle Bob with his Delorean we be flyin so high
Burn tool on my face, got a bowl of fruit it tastes so great
Peekin under the stall with my iPad, shittin quietly never felt so rad
My face is everywhere in the PIT, Alexei so confused he split
Jeff's calling me blowing up my phone, doesn't he have a life, can't he bother Joan?
He sneaks behind me and records me working, When I get an idea I start twerking
There's toilet paper everywhere, it's some sort of shit storm nightmare
you know what it's alright, cause I'll be Krunchin tonight
Track Name: How To Poop At Work
How to poop at work
How you toot at work
Ain’t no joke
This is science!

Prepare to be schooled
Here we go now..

Escapee
You let yo stank slip
No reason to panic
Pretend it never happened

Jailbreak
Force that shit out
Nevermind that sound
Sit and wait it out

Courtesy Flush
Cover up yo effects
Or grab a bag of chips
Courtesy MUNCH now!

Walk of shame
No matter what they say
Thank ain’t yo stank
Mind yo own

The poopin’ friends network
Flash yo sign
Bros before hoes.
Know yo hood

Outa the closet pooper
They don’t care
Shit everywhere
Must be some record

Safe havens
Aint no traffic
Go get graffic
Shit yo stank in the air

Turd Burgler
Stay the fuck out
Don’t fucking move, mother fucker
Or I’ll bust you through this door

Camo-cough
It’s yo call
Stay the fuck away
There’s already somebody here, motherfucker

Astaire
Tap yo foot
Leave me in peace
See you later motherfucker

Watermelon
Bomb the fucking joint
Ain’t no going back
Apocoylpse now

Havana Omelet
Shitstorm out yo ass
Paint that stall
With you ass

Uncle Ted
This ain’t yo shit
What chu waiting for
Get the fuck outa here

Fly by
Hold yo stank
Cover yo ground
Come back ready to blast
Track Name: Possessive Obsessive
Apostrophe-postrophe-postrophe-NOOOOO!
Apostrophe-postrophe-postrophe-NOOOOO!
Apostrophe-postrophe-postrophe-NOOOOO!
NO APOSTROPHE!

Don't force it, let the customer decide
Remove it from copy or commit suicide
Old, merge, ways exhumed
Mark, wants this shit removed

Eeeee-nough of these mer-ges
with un-der-score RE-VIEW
Too man-y i-tems with
a-pos-trophe.cs to DOOOOOOO!


Apostrophe-postrophe-postrophe-NOOOOO!
Apostrophe-postrophe-postrophe-NOOOOO!
Apostrophe-postrophe-postrophe-NOOOOO!
NO APOSTROPHE!

Apostrophe-postrophe-postrophe-NOOOOO!
Apostrophe-postrophe-postrophe-NOOOOO!
Apostrophe-postrophe-postrophe-NOOOOO!
NO A-POS-TRO-PHEEEEEE!


WHY, CAN'T,
WE GET, THIS, RIGHT?
WE, HAVE,
TO STAND, UP AND FIGHT!

SAY YES/NO SAY YES/NO SAY YES/NO
POSSESSIVE/OBSESSIVE

SAY YES/NO SAY YES/NO SAY YES/NO
POSSESSIVE/OBSESSIVE

SAY YES/NO SAY YES/NO SAY YES/NO
POSSESSIVE/OBSESSIVE